Self and Not Self: A Personal Narrative

March 22, 2024

Trip to family for a day, saw siblings, mom, dad. How are things? was the question. Since this isn’t a how are you? from the guy at the front counter of the pizza shop, since this is family—

I’ve been going through a breakup. 

I’m struggling a bit.

A short visit for seven hours in the car. Needed Sleep / Food / Hugs & Costco. Ate a big breakfast. Drank coffee. Woke up. Went on a walk with my mom. Grandparents got a puppy. Talked w. my dad. Brother and sister, too. Felt held. Took a breath. Got what I needed for home.

Stayed up all night & started cleaning everything. Kitchen, living room, washed clothes, sheets, swept the floors, desk. Talked to T. When that wasn’t enough, started rearranging the furniture. Bed here, chair there, try again. Talked to J. Started throwing stuff away. Put up tapestries. Put up posters. Started crying. 

There’s this paper I’ve been told is famous. A couple of philosophers argue that the environment is an extension of our cognition. That our minds, in part, exist outside of our bodies. But, it’s kind of obvious if you give it some thought.

Consider a house and a home:

making dinner

           watching TV

                   going to sleep / being held

           taking a breath

getting what’s needed. 

Perceptibly or not, everything in my life is sort of interconnected with everything else in my life. Of course our environments inform how we engage with others, how we think and behave. You get what you give, and you give what you get. Otherwise, why would I have needed to clean my room in order to come home?

This weekend’s time change means it’s nearly Spring. How are things for you?

(If you would like to read Andy Clark and David Chalmers’s incredible 1998 paper, you can do so here)